parenting blog

"Grownups believe they have grown up, that they should no longer be like children, and that childlike qualities are something to be ashamed of. But what really has grown up in the grownup is the ego. The body, intellect, and ego may have grown, but the heart, i.e., such essential qualities as love and compassion, is on its death bed. People think they have become mature adults. But are they really grown up and mature?

The body has changed from a child's body into a grownup body, but the inner personality is still undeveloped.

If you continue to cling to the past, you cannot call it maturity. Of course, you can find people with a so-called mature ego, but among them you will not find a truly mature human being. A person with a mature ego may behave in a decent and refined way, but he still acts and speaks in the light of his past. His words and actions in the present are rooted in his past experiences. He has made many mistakes in the past. He has learned a lot from all those experiences; and now, whenever he says or does anything, he is careful not to repeat the same mistakes and not to say something foolish, because he knows from experience that this could create problems. So he chooses his words carefully and acts with deliberation. This shows that the past is still working within him, in a subtle, refined, and powerful way. We may call this maturity, intellectual maturity or maturity of the ego -- but it is not real maturity.

Real, genuine maturity develops when you drop the ego and you stop dwelling in the past. When the inner Self is allowed to express itself, without being tainted or interrupted by the ego, a spontaneous and genuine maturity unfolds."

-Amma

Amma guides us.

"Parents should start explaining spiritual ideas to children at an early age. Even if they acquire bad habits when they grow up, the good impressions dormant in their subconscious mind will bring them back to the right path in due course."

Our kids like to eat quinoa. They especially like it flavored with flax oil and/or tamari.

Both the boys are so big now! Shivan regularly talks in sentences. They need more space and regular interaction. We all Love each other a lot,

Link: http://www.medialens.org/alerts/09/090629_turning_children_into.php

Introduction and full excerpt at medialens.org

TURNING CHILDREN INTO CONSUMERS
by Sharon Beder -- extracted from “This Little Kiddy Went to Market: The Corporate Capture of Childhood”, Pluto Press, London, 2009.

Children are naïve about advertising and can easily be manipulated and exploited by marketers to want and demand their products. Corporate marketers believe that over time they can be shaped into lifelong consumers with brand loyalties and that can be profitable for decades to come. What is more, children influence family spending decisions worth hundreds of billions of dollars on household items like furniture, electrical appliances and computers, vacations, and even the family car.

Corporations began targeting their marketing messages directly to children during the 1980s, as affluent adult markets became saturated with consumer goods. Large firms established ‘kids’ departments and smaller firms specialised in marketing to children. A number of advertising industry publications were created such as Selling to Kids and Marketing to Kids Report. The academic literature began to feature studies of children as consumers.

In the US the amount corporations spent marketing to children under twelve increased by five times between 1980 and 1990 and ten times more during the 1990s. In 2004 around $15 billion was being spent marketing to children. Conferences on the best ways to market to children are held all over the world. There are also awards for the best advertisements and marketing campaigns with hundreds of entries.

Read more of this excerpt at medialens.org

We had been seeing kids around that were Quinn's age or younger and really doing well with bicycling...

So Quinn picked it up immediately and was able to ride without the trainingwheels. Evidently mind over matter...

This list is from the "Discipline" chapter in Natural Family Living by Peggy O'Mara.

• Use positive reinforcement.
• Create a positive environment.
• Say yes as much as possible.
• Say no for the important things.
• Use natural consequences.
• Use logical consequences.
• Use restitution.
• Leave it up to your child.
• Compromise.
• State your expectations, and get out of the way.
• Give specific instructions.
• Give a reason.
• Offer help.
• Give a choice.
• Redirect your child.
• Remove your child.
• Make positive statements.
• Give in occasionally.
• Give your child time to agree.
• Simply insist. [instead of asking "Okay?" constantly]
• Make rules.
• Ignore some behavior.
• Avoid nagging and threats.
• Distract your child.
• Use humor.
• Make it a game.
• Be willing to admit your mistakes.
• Stop and think before you act.
• Don't make a big fuss over little things.
• Stick to routines.
• Don't hurry your children too much.
• Get to the root of the problem.
• Correct one behavior at a time.
• Give yourselves time.
• Use the golden rule.
• Model appropriate behavior.
• Think of your child as an equal.
• Always keep your love for your child in mind.

I do not agree with everything on this list or in the book, but it seems good to keep a list like this available. Earlier in the chapter, where the author describes each one of these alternatives a little, she states:

"Look over this list of alternatives to punishment. Not all of them will work for you -- some may be more appropriate for certain ages or situations; some may even be contradictory. The point is to have a repertoire of approaches to draw from in any given situation."

This simple list is then reprinted at the end of the chapter.

Om

Link: http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/schools.html

http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/schools.html

amongst other free software philosophy...

Free software makes sense to me and I want to use and develop more for education

Link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/jan/14/facebook

And, like MySpace and probably others, Facebook won't even let a mom publish a photo of a nursing baby. Enough said. Relevant link follows:

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/20090101/facebook-nudity-policy-draws-nursing-moms-ire.htm

It's funny that so many photos of the young kids end up showing them wearing a shirt but no pants. Now that it's getting to winter we are dressing more warmly, but there are still plenty of days around here where an E.C. baby can lounge around like they really want to.

Quinn is super packed with energy, and now he is big. It is important that we give him individual attention for specific periods of time and wrestle or run around -- A LOT.

"We must remember that intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character -- that is the goal of true education. The complete education gives one not only power of concentration, but worthy objectives upon which to concentrate."

- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Whereas in the past in both East and West there have been precise models these have been built around a culture and tradition which was supportive of this practice. In Western culture the support system has been destroyed by the industrial revolution and the money economy compelling at least one and often both principal members to become money earners. This necessitates daily absence from the home and reliance on day-care centers, nursery schools or regular schools to provide a spiritual foundation which one cannot expect them to provide as they essentially are educating and directing children to become 'good members' of the same society which is in essence profane and in extension looking only to continue its existence at the present level of consciousness. Consequently the family is dispersed,its members isolated from each other and effectively only together as an economic and sleeping unit. The family thus has no center to radiate from and no spiritual-psychic support system. It is dead. The outlook is bleak from this vantage point."

- from "Be Here Now"

We're feeling good overall about the pregnancy and birth but there's a sadness too as our process brings to light, for us, some harsh realities about the way we all are living. I haven't stated much, I think, about the way we have very little community or support regarding our choice to remain home in this upcoming birth. We barely have practical help with the pregnancy or anything much else anyway. I'm not trying to complain, it's just a sort of sadness that I'm trying to express. We are grateful...

Link: http://www.unhinderedliving.com/PregNewRel.html

I thought this essay was semi-inspiring, since it seems we have so little support for making our own choices...

Pregnancy and The New Religion of Medicine

I see that I don't agree with a lot of what the author(s?) of the site have to say, but whatever... cheers to them for having the courage to say something that isn't the typical kindof canned speech I hear everywhere.

It has been amazing, again, to feel Jaya's belly with a huge baby moving around inside. There's nothing like it. It must seem so crazy for womyn sometimes to have that movement going on inside yourselves...

So, probably less than six or seven weeks to go! It's obvious that Ajna is growing really fast now.